Worry, as described by Leary, is the concern for "what might or might not happen in the future." He immediately clarifies that in many cases worry is a positive thing; it promotes well being and prevents stupidity. At the same time though, it can be unwarranted and thus detrimental to an individuals life. In Leary's opinion, worry is only a positive thing when it leads to an increase in one's safety (for example, one who worries about the consequences of smoking may stop their bad habit). In direct contrast to this is the parent that worries about their kid being out past curfew or the individual who worries about their plane crashing; neither can effect the situation with their worry. As he continues his discussion on worry, Leary reveals what he feels is the original cause of worry: the switch from hunting and gathering to agriculture. While the former was only concerned with their present situation and well being (and was thus happy/worry free) the latter is always preoccupied with factors that might ruin their harvest. Farmers are constantly concerned with losing their crop to pest, inclement weather, or robbers. Leary's discussion continues on to include the ultimate worry: death. In this section of the article, he once again uses a truly meaningful reference to convey his point. Instead of the Wizard of Oz, this allusion is to Shakespeare's Julius Caesar: "cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once." The conclusion drawn from all of this is that unwarranted worry achieves nothing of value. It only causes pain.
A second key point from Leary's article is his discussion of Imagining Significant others. This topic ultimately breaks down into two categories (jealousy and pride/shame) but the message that spans both of these topics is this: humans develop emotions based on what happens to those they care about (their psychological appendages). Jealousy in particular, especially unwarranted jealous, occurs when we fictionalize on of our "significant others" enjoying someone else's company more than our own. Our "self" often "ruminates and ruminates, even imagining in vivid detail where the loved on might e and what he or she might be doing." Leary continues on to talk about pride/shame which are nouns that describe feelings of happiness or sadness that are inline with another's successes and failures. This proves problematic for one's well being because it means that, similar to worry, your happiness is contingent on factors that are out of your hands. The most interesting complication in regards to these two terms, according to Leary, is when our responses to other successes and failures are reversed. We sometimes delight in other's shortcomings and distress in their victories.
The final key point from this article deals with attributions and emotions. These two things are relevant to the rest of the article because was proven in the 1970s that while emotions are sometimes the result of stimulus, "research shows that people's interpretations and attributions play an important role." Accordingly, Leary highlights three aspects of this: depression, guilt/shame, and making matters worse. Depression is characterized by a "depressogenic way of thinking" where an individual is despondent about the future and disappointed in themselves about the past. Guilt and Shame are two emotions that often result from a similar events: guilt produces regret and while shame produce self-blame. Finally, making matter worse describes the scenarios where one views his reactions to and event as "a poor ability to cope with stressful events" and thus makes emotion matters worse. All three of these are examples of how our interpretation of events and emotions can have very unique outcomes.
All in all, this was a really powerful article that I loved. Every single issue that it covered really hit home with me. As I mentioned in my own introduction, Leary's allusions are powerful tools for conveying his message and every single one of them evoked a sense of relief (by this I mean that I was relieved that others before me, and presumably others after me, have and will go through the same emotional trials as I have). Perhaps the reference that had the greatest impact on me was one to Mark Twain: "our self fills our lives with many tragedies, most of which never really occur." Worry has always been a big problem in my life. The stresses of school, landing a job, meeting girls, and being a good christian have me consistently concerning myself with the future. The ideas that Leary articulate in "Making Ourselves Miserable" really gave me a moral boost and assurance that my worries are unwarranted/unhelpful.
In terms of the big picture, this article seems to be a little different than all of the others read prior to it. Although it clearly deals with constructing a good life for human flourishing (as the others did) this one highlights specific things that would prevent this. The best part is that these specific things are easily grasped: worry, shame, guilt, etc. This is in direct contrast to other articles that have had much more lofty meanings that were difficult to digest. This article reminds me of a book that to this day sits on the coffee table in my living room. The book's title is "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff; and It's All Small Stuff". I have never actually read the book, but from what I gather it is about overcoming all sorts of setbacks and in turn thriving. Such a message correlates directly to Leary's. There is no need for "depressogenic way of thinking" because its all small stuff. There is no need to concern oneself with parts of the future that cannot be effected; such worry is unwarranted and pointless. After reading Leary's excerpt and thoroughly enjoying it, I definitely intend to go home and read the book that has been staring me in the face my entire life.
When this article is put in context of the big picture, it seems clear that the ideals expressed in it need to be understood in order to construct a good life. The list of things that prevent human flourishing definitely consist of topics discussed in the article, including but not limited to, worry, depression, guilt, and making matters worse. I think that Leary's ultimate message is that the introspective conversation that is constantly going on in our head needs to not prevent us from living a full life. Animals do not have a well defined self, and as a result they simply respond to stimulus. We are faced with a much more intimidating task: controlling/taming the self to allow for this desired flourishing. We must not fictionalize situations in our head (resulting in things like jealousy) and we must not concern ourselves with matters that are out of our hands (resulting in things like worry). All we know is the present, and all we can do is try our best to thrive. As a result of Leary's article, that is what I intend to do: thrive.
Questions
What is the best technique for distinguishing useless worry from useful worry?
How can one combat impulses that seem natural and ingrained in their being? Jealousy for example.
My biggest problem is that at times I root against people. Not on purpose; it just feels natural to not want others to succeed so that my successes are amplified. How can I fix this?
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